Quotes to squeegee your third eye: Thinking outside your cage - Volume II


"If you want to tell people the truth, you'd better make them laugh or they'll kill you."
Attributed to George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)



Abstract: Undeterred by their imaginary critics, the Brothers Jensen are at it again. Quotes to squeegee your third eye - Vol. II, joyfully continues where the ‘Orange book’ left off. Using satire, politically incorrect humor, and uncommon quotes from the famous and the not-so-famous, the authors continue their efforts to amuse the ‘thick skinned’ and to educate those who have painted over their ‘third eye.’ So whether your an Egghead, a True Blue American, or a Social Media Groupie looking for your ‘villain of the week’ to rekindle your forgotten rage, the Brothers Jensen have just the book for you.

If this is not making sense to you, maybe you should take a gander at Volume I, a.k.a., the ‘Orange book.’



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Critics rave.....

"It's sure purdy to look at, even in the dark." - Lennie Small

"Everything of any interest was thoroughly covered in the original ‘Orange book,’
but like so many writing teams who have nothing to say,
Volume II won't shut the hell up." - Vincent Canby

"I'm sure that the Brothers Jensen's new book will become an integral part of naval hygiene." - Dr. James Lind

"Seldom has so much been said in so few words." - Bosley Crowther

"Another feckless attempt to edify the masses." - Sen. Josiah Bailey

"It's a Top Pocket Bobby Dazzler!" - Jacques de Molay

"Their creation pails in comparison." - Mrs. Goodfellow

"A MacGuffin if I'd ever read one." - Alfred Hitchcock

"The Brothers Jensen's latest work will assuredly aid those who have never learned how to walk forward." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

"The Brothers Jensen's Lemon book is a great Thanksgiving read, if you want to start a battle before the turkey is done." - Julia Child

"Excellent opposition research,
assuming you're looking to seduce a social justice warrior who doesn't shave her legs." - Casanova

"The Lemon book inspired me to create something palatable and whimsical." - Mrs. Spencer

"Ah.. ahh, conservatism is the politics of reality and their Lemon book only deviously obfuscates the subject matter." - William F. Buckley, Jr.

"In Richmond, the Lemon book enhances one's reputation and expands one's mumbling vocabulary." - Elizabeth Van Lew

"I have come to realize that the Lemon book is essential to my political comeback." - Eugene V. Debs



Introduction snippet: "As we have said before, since capitalism and narcissism are running rampant in our 21st century, the aphorisms and lengthy quotes in this second volume, just like the first volume, are designed to challenge your understanding of reality by presenting society as a collection of antagonisms. Stating it musically, society is not a consonance harmony and we would like you to ‘take a listen’ to its dissonance. So don’t just skim the chapters in our book, contemplate the antagonisms they reveal in order to raise your consciousness and compassion."



Lemon drop candy not included.



  1. Magic & miracles: A modern understanding
  2. Career advancement in consumer capitalism
  3. Perception, subterfuge, and politics
  4. Murphy’s laws of combat: The 1st ten
  5. From monarchy to a republic: A review
  6. The plan
  7. Yours for more credit
  8. The Republican symbol: What has changed?
  9. A 21st century voting hypothesis: An antagonistic explanatory model
 10. War & death: What we refuse to remember
 11. Hope: The ultimate ‘4 letter word’
 12. God: A sex worker’s understanding
 13. Presidential pathologies: 2017-2021
 14. Understanding the professional bureaucrat
 15. Inspirational methods: A comparison
 16. Flaschenpost: A labor of futility
 17. Generic reasons against unnecessary change
 18. Swords or plowshares: Which is it?
 19. Fortune cookie fortunes you’ll probably never read
 20. The blind men and the elephant
 21. The four ‘K's’
 22. Solidarity forever (plus Proposed additional verses)
 23. Politics: A few general observations
 24. Sexual hang-ups: A few thoughts
 25. Politics and war: A relationship you can’t avoid

 26. Mother Jones quotes
 27. Mr. Shelby and religion
 28. Politiphobe: A definition and classification
 29. Jerry Espenson and the excellent use of sarcasm
 30. Norms and enforcement: A little logic
 31. Evidence against the ‘Western’
 32. Hate crimes: A legislative argument against
 33. The spirit of the law vs. the letter of the law: The Slahi example
 34. Methods to increase reasonable doubt
 35. Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be scholars
 36. Why you shouldn’t eat your neighbors
 37. O’ how the blind can see: Helen Keller
 38. Security theater: A litmus test
 39. The problems of political pollsters
 40. Are you a communist?
 41. The simplicity of men
 42. Fun with syllogisms
 43. What you can learn from a former U.S. Vice President
 44. The braggings: A comparison
 45. Obituary: Jack T. Chick (1924-2016)
 46. Yes or no questions: 4 categorical responses
 47. Revisiting the Kübler-Ross model
 48. Cures for narrow-mindedness and mental rigidity
 49. Exploitative character: Modus operandi examples
 50. An unvarnished motto of labor
 Conclusion — More paint or turpentine?
 * Reason’s Prayer
 * Assorted aphorisms
 * Snide remarks
 * Assorted epigrams
 * “You might be a historical materialist if, ...”
 * Observing the Zeitgeist
 * Mental health industry humor



Copyright 2024 Walter A. and Eric Jensen
Proofreader: Robert W. VanSumeren, Attorney at Law and Student of Comparative Religion
Fact checker: Peter Jensen
U.S. Copyright Record #:
Not available in any electronic or digital format on the World Wide Web.
ISBN-13: 978-0-9704919-6-1
ISBN-13: 9780970491961
Publisher: Printmill - Kalamazoo, MI
First published: February 14, 2024
BISAC Subject Code: HUM015000, SOC026000, and PSY000000
Length: 8.5"
Width: 5.5"
Depth: 0.5"
Weight: 0.5 pounds ( 8 oz. )
Library Call #: In Process
Number of pages: 134
Publication Flyers: General consumption
                    For both Volumes

Last Updated 02/14/2024

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